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Sunday, June 7th, 2009

Subject:It's moving day!
Time:6:12 pm.
Mood: odd.
Hello friends, comrades, people I don't talk to much anymore.

This is an important day in my LiveJournal career. It is today that I leave behind my angsty LiveJournal roots and move to the more socially-acceptable Blogspot. But don't worry, this decision isn't purely motivated by trying to seem cool. I kind of want it to be a clean slate. I've written some very odd things in here over the years, and while I'm not deleting my LiveJournal, I feel like...I either might have better things to say now, or I have the same stupid things to say in a slighty flashier format.

But if you're interested in reading it, let me know and I'll get you the information. I won't be bothered if you don't want it. This is mostly for me to start writing things down again.

Hope everyone's well!



Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, February 19th, 2009

Subject:I need you so much closer.
Time:11:13 am.
Mood: calm.
I've been carrying my iPod with me during the day, and as I was walking home from work yesterday in the cold rain, Transatlanticism by Death Cab for Cutie started playing, and it just seemed so perfect.

As much as I love the sunshine, I think after growing up in Portland, my body craves rain. When it rains, especially when I'm out in it, I feel a deep relief that I don't get in the summer, like an exhalation.

Sometimes you just need to get caught out in the rain without an umbrella, and even though you have a hood, you wear it down anyway because the water comes straight from the sky and you're perfectly waterproof.

I'm not sure why this all came out so "pseudo-artistic". It just seemed perfectly right for me to get rained on while I listened to that song. It was the right thing at the right time, and the song lasted all the way home. Seven minutes.

The Atlantic was born today
And I'll tell you how.

The clouds above opened up
And let it out.

I was standing on the surface of a perforated sphere
When the water filled every hole.
And thousands upon thousands made an ocean
Making islands where no
Islands should go, oh no.

Most people were overjoyed
They took to their boats.
I thought it less like a lake;
And more like a moat.

The rhythm of my footsteps crossing flood lands to your door
Has been silenced forevermore.
And the distance is quite simply much too far for me to row.
It seems farther than ever before, oh no.

I need you so much closer.

So come on; come on.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, December 1st, 2008

Subject:Creature feature.
Time:7:40 pm.
Mood: cold.
I Have Many Things Better To Do...

Boy or a girl to text you last?​

Are you afrai​d of falli​ng in love?​
I assume subconsciously I am. That seems fitting.

Name somet​hing you are doing​ tomor​row:​
Wheedling with my Art History "professor" to change the date of our final so I can take an earlier (and probably cheaper) flight home.

Does your phone​ norma​lly ring in the middl​e of the night​?​
If it does, I'm usually awake for it.

To whom did you last give the finge​r to?
Oh my god, I have no idea...I'm thinking Abby Strange?

How many hours​ did you sleep​ last night​?​
Six. Pretty standard.

Is there​ anyon​e you trust​ who you shoul​dn't?​
Perhaps. But there's only one way to find out.

Is there​ someo​ne you can'​t stop think​ing about​?​

When someo​ne walks​ out of your life,​ do you go after​ them or let them go?
I tend to put up a fight unless it's someone really unsavory.

If youre​ being​ extre​mely quiet​ what’​s it mean?​
I'm watching you.

Do you think​ the legal​ drink​ing age shoul​d be chang​ed?​
Yes. I think there's too much allure in breaking the rules. Sarah Jane put it best when she said, "Why would you ever want the first time you get piss-drunk to be with anyone other than your parents, in your own house, where it's safe?"

Somet​hing you reall​y want right​ now?
A burrito bol from Chipotle. (And yes, I spelled "bol" correctly. Chipotle is chic and hip to the flavor.)

Do you think​ you'​re old?
I never imagined myself at twenty-one. So yes.

Are you a jealo​us perso​n?​
It happens.

Where​ have you lived​ throu​ghout​ your life?​
Portland, Oregon has been my home for the longest.

Do you wear conta​cts?​
Under no circumstances.

What were you doing​ an hour ago?
Typing up the minutes from the last Spectrum meeting.

What are you weari​ng?​
An aqua-colored sweater with jeans and flats.

If you could​ go back in time and chang​e thing​s,​ would​ you?
Maybe one or two things. But I like where I am now, so maybe not. I guess it's lucky I don't have to make that decision.

If you could​ seek reven​ge on someo​ne would​ you?
I think anyone I'd want to seek revenge on is probably already seeking enough revenge on themself.

Have you ever slept​ in a bed with the same sex?

Who do you live with?​

Have you ever been aroun​d someo​ne who was high?​

Did you have a good birth​day last year?​
No. Rarely do I have good birthdays. In fact I can't recall one in recent memory.

Is your hair curly​?​
I made a woeful attempt today. But no.

Where​ is the perso​n you last gave your heart​ to?
I don't know that that's applicable.

How did you feel when you woke up today​?​

Do you wish someo​ne was with you right​ now?
Yeah. But not someone to talk to. Just a general warm-bodied presence.

What time did you go to sleep​ last night​?​
About 3:00am.

Do you still​ talk to the last perso​n who made you hurt the most?​
I do.

Where​ did you buy the shirt​ you'​re weari​ng now?
Old Navy.

Is someo​ne on your mind right​ now?
No one in particular.

What are you liste​ning to?
The soundtrack from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

Did you sing at all today​?​
Not by anyone's choice. I sang along with Damaged on the ride back from rehearsal just now.

Do you miss anyon​e?​
I do.

Do you curse​ a lot?

Are you too forgi​ving?​
It really depends on the person.

If someo​ne liked​ you right​ now, would​ you want them to tell you?

Would​ you rathe​r live in Alask​a or Texas​?​
Just warmth-wise, it would have to be Texas. I'm sure there are kosher areas in Texas...​

Is it okay if you kiss peopl​e when you'​re singl​e?​

Do you crack​ your knuck​les?​
Nay nay.

Do you own big sungl​asses​?​
I have one pair, yes.

Can you handl​e the truth​?​
I like to try.

Name a coupl​e of your favor​ite color​s.​
Blue and purple.

When'​s your birth​day?​
September 2nd.

Ever flung​ a rubbe​r band at anyon​e?​
Oh my god, Our Town memories just came flooding in.

What did you have for break​fast today​?​
Hahaha. This is a hilarious question today. Chicken fingers and a bit of ice cream. It was that kind of day, and no one would go with me to get egglets.

Do you have a reaso​n to smile​ right​ now?

Have you ever felt repla​ced?​
It's a common theme.

Do you dance​ while​ getti​ng ready​ for whate​ver?​
I shake about.

Do you read horos​copes​?​
When I come across them, yeah.

Who was the last perso​n you took a pictu​re with?​
Travis Youssef.

What is your curre​nt mood?​

Is it easy for other​s to make you feel awkwa​rd?​
I do a bang-up job on my own.

Does anyon​e hate you for no reaso​n?​
I'm sure everyone has a reason.

Want someo​ne back in your life?​
Yeah...I mean...yeah.

Are you good at giving direc​tions​​?​
By no means.

Have you lost frien​ds in the past 3 years​?​
Not to death, if that's what that means.

Do you talk about​ your feeli​ngs or hide them?​
A nice combo.

Are you happy​?​
I am.

Do you liste​n to your music​ loud or at a reaso​nable​ level​?​
A low level. I get distracted easily.

Do you smile​ at small​ thing​s?​
They're my favorite.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Friday, October 31st, 2008

Subject:So I'll do it more.
Time:2:27 am.
Mood: excited.
I carry a water gun because I am an adult.
And also because Assassins has restarted.

Feel free to track my progress at spectrumassassins.blogspot.com. I'll be the one writing the obituaries. That's right. Because I'm a BAD ASS MOTHERFUCKER.

I miss writing.

Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, September 8th, 2008

Subject:Baby knows best.
Time:9:38 pm.
Mood: amused.
Also, this is hilarious, read the whole thing and then look at the ad next to it.

fail owned pwned pictures
see more pwn and owned pictures
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, August 10th, 2008

Subject:I wrote this, tell me what you think.
Time:11:43 am.
Mood: creative.


The news is breaking.
Great stacked heights of close-set type are clicking importantly against each other, and
Activating like a set of tumblers -- spilling down onto the beach
In a cascade of ink and heated metal.

The steely letters catch a fierce glint of sunshine
As they jostle to the crest of every wave
And -- finally -- hold for just a moment at the final peak of the gnashing breaker
And curl under and into themselves as they surge toward the beach.

Hurling themselves onto the sand like salmon, and
In their final fatal moments, clinging there in breathless weightlessness,
Arrange themselves into a final desperate tableau, a glistening headline;
A string of letters kinking its way down the beach like a spine
Between the waterlogged seaweed and the dying jellyfish
And the unlikely glint of sea glass.

Until exhaustion and the irresistible sea
Claim them again, and they slide terribly back,
Back along the wet and shining sand,
Past the great beached editorials lying bloated and stinking on the beach
Swollen with sea water and self-importance.

The letters and words desperately holding their tenuous chain;
Ampersands and apostrophes clinging to the swooping parentheses
As the salt water swirls and the next crushing tower of flashing type
And scalded ink rises like a city above them.

Comments: Read 3 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, July 9th, 2008

Subject:I love my best friend because...
Time:11:17 pm.
Mood: cheerful.
 After shaving his head, he wanted me to see what it looked like. Because...I can't visualize a shaved head. 
Which is how I came to be sent a link to a webpage containing the following picture. And the caption, "This is basically what I look like now."
Hahaha. I don't remember you being quite so metrosexual and brooding. And...tan. So all in all a miraculous haircut. It was really the Jesus Christ of stylists at work. You must give them my number. 
OH. My god...a knock at the door. Who could it be? OH. Hello Christ with scissors. Go to town.
(A miraculous matter of moments later, and I now look like this:)

Wow. Job well done, JC. Job well done.

But P.S. That is actually semi-close to what my new haircut looks like. Just...not my new face. Or my new boyfriend...Jake Gyllenhaal.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, May 10th, 2008

Time:3:06 am.
Mood: crushed.
 Apparently I need to make some things clear.

Yes, I often pretend like I don't care about the outcome of situations when I really do. Yes, I'd rather have you think I'm disinterested than disappointed. YES, I've spent a lot of time trying to perfect the "funny/bitchy girl" image because it's something I know I'm good at, and I know I'm not the prettiest or most interesting of my friends. And, YES, I know these aren't good qualities in a person, and I'm working on that.

HOWEVER. That doesn't mean I don't want to be involved in your stupid, inane, completely meaningless little clubs. No, it doesn't matter in the long run, and being in Alpha Psi (the honors, drama fraternity at Hofstra) would probably just mean attending a lot of meetings and having to go to Cabaret every week, but I still want to be in it. Very badly. And, frankly, with my GPA, work ethic, and talent level, I deserve to be.

I also don't care how much faith I lose in the drama department through their repeated casting of so many mediocre people. It's obviously very clear that I disagree with the department on several fundamental issues. HOWEVER, I still want to be cast.

I'm tired of working my ass off and putting on a good face even when I'm heartbreakingly disappointed, and still watching other people take the things that I convinced myself I might just get this time. I'm tired of showing up at the cast list and never once seeing the outcome that I was hoping for. I'll be a senior next year, and I'll still be in the ensemble. And yes, whatever, I'm cast, and that's important, and valuable, some people aren't, WHATEVER. My problem is that I think I'm talented. Maybe that's cocky, but I've seen progress in myself that I'm very pleased with, and I can say with absolute certainty that in my three years here, I've never performed a role that I wasn't completely proud of. Because I wouldn't LET myself. I don't do work that I'm not proud of; just based on my perfectionism...I can't.

So what it comes down to is, yes, I completely want your validation. Yes, I absolutely want to be recognized for the SIGNIFICANT amount of work that I put into EVERY aspect of my life. And more than anything, I don't want to get passed over any more by people who aren't genuine. If I have something to say to you, I say it to your face. And more than that, if someone disrespects a friend, or even an acquaintance, I am the FIRST person to back them up. Even people I'm not close with at all, I've reached out to on numerous occasions. And all it gets me is exhausted and shat on.

I didn't leave my room once today. I ate the food I had here and waited for a reason to get up and take a shower. I was hoping that at least someone would call me today to check in. After all, the last they saw me, I was holding back tears at the drama formal, so it would have been a nice gesture. But, predictably, the only phone call I got today was from someone wanting MY help. Someone needing help from ME. And that feels like complete shit, and I'm fucking tired of it.

So if you're gonna insult my personality, the way that I am, you better start picking up some of the fucking slack. Why don't YOU start walking our drunk friends home. Or maybe you'd like to act as someone's therapist for a while, or defend your friends to the drama department. Maybe you'd like to come on time to class every day, and be the one calling your scene partner to beg a rehearsal out of them.

I'm not saying everything in my life sucks, because it doesn't. But I am a GOOD PERSON and I deserve GOOD THINGS. And I'm tired of waiting around for them while other people get rewarded for mediocrity.

And finally, as a side note, let it be known that I'm not begrudging any of my friends the roles they were given for next semester, or anyone who did get a bid for Alpha Psi. I'm so glad that good things are finally happening for them, after they were ignored and their talents wasted for so long. I do want the best for the people I love. I really do. But it's not enough for me to see it happening for my friends. Maybe it should be, but I don't think so. I think it's okay to want good things for myself. 

So. I'm gonna get them. I'm gonna take this summer for myself, get my head together. Get myself in a pattern of going to the gym, eating right. All that. I won't be seeing most of my friends, and that's okay. The ones who matter will make the same amount of effort that I will to keep in touch. The ones who don't can go by the wayside until it's convenient for them to be supportive again. That's all fine with me. I'm going to get myself to a point where I'm happy with myself, and I'll see what happens from there.

I'm not compromising myself any more.

And when everything starts breaking down
You take the pieces off the ground
And show this wicked town something beautiful and new.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008

Subject:Top Chef dreaming.
Time:10:54 pm.
Mood: confused.
Why is it is that we can have blackberry and blueberry and boysenberry and marionberry and gooseberry pies, but not strawberry or raspberry?
You can have strawberry...but only if you mix it with rhubarb. Which is weird...I don't know what rhubarb is, but it sounds stalk-y and suspiciously like a vegetable.
But the moment you try to make a raspberry pie you have to start calling it a cobbler.
And I was thinking that maybe cobbler and pie are the same...but then I realized there's such a thing as peach cobbler AND such a thing as peach pie.
I think I've stumbled upon some berry-ism. And I'm not happy about it.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, April 9th, 2008

Subject:Let me tell you a secret...ary.
Time:5:55 pm.
Mood: dorky.
It's always bothered me how little I'm involved with the drama department...so I've recently decided to start putting myself out there. 
Which, today, meant running for a position on the Spectrum Players' executive board. 
...which is how it came to pass that I ran as secretary uncontested, and was subsequently elected. Meaning I'm now an elected official on Spectrum's e-board!
The e-board for next year is so awesome, too. It's my best friend Laura as President, Lauren Cook as Vice President, Steve Spera as Treasurer, me as Secretary, Matt Landis as Senior Publicity (meh), Casey Killoran as Junior Publicity (hopefully she'll be responsible with it), and Chelsea Frati as Philanthropy. 
That is a lot of estrogen.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, April 6th, 2008

Subject:You are ridiculous.
Time:11:31 am.
Mood: irritated.
Yesterday in city class our (awesome) substitute professor asked how many of us knew what the word "surreptitiously" meant.
Two out of SIXTEEN raised their hands.
That's simply an embarrassment.
I'm realizing more and more lately that I actually feel personally offended when people misuse grammar or make spelling mistakes around me. 
I'm pretty sure this makes me an elitist bitch.
I'm also pretty sure that I don't care.

P.S. I was going to make the subject line "You are rediculous." but I couldn't bring myself to leave it misspelled. I seriously have a problem.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, February 5th, 2008

Subject:You play the victim perfectly.
Time:10:00 pm.
Mood: complacent.
 I've had a Livejournal for five years now...that's a long-ass time. I just went back through and looked at my entries for right around now in the past five years. Conclusion: I was a very sad human beast for a while. It feels like that's mostly behind me, but I still recognize little blips of sadness that connect back to that horrifying depression that I remember. But things have vastly improved, which is a great feeling.

Speaking of great feelings, I got my schedule worked out. Hurray! There was this issue that I wouldn't be able to try out for my DREAM PART in my DREAM PLAY (Harper Pitt in Angels in America) because I got a crew assignment that conflicted with it. And I wasn't having any of that. So I went to David and asked if he could switch my crew, and his response was, "Short answer: no." Apparently he'd been flooded with e-mails asking the same thing. So I clearly had to go about it a different way. Anyway I'm in Hamlet, and he was at the first rehearsal with all of us, because he's the costume designer. So I ended up sitting by him, and couldn't help overhearing him say to Ilona, "Damnit, this is why I need an assistant, so I wouldn't have to take notes at these meetings."
So I immediately blurt out, "Want me to take notes for you David?"
And he's like, "Oh, sure, that'd be great."
And I go, "So switch my crew."
Which he refused to do at first...but ultimately I made myself so necessary to him as a note-taker (my handwriting really is orgasmic) and general knowledge-knower (all that Facebook-stalking finally paid off), so he took me on as his assistant and moved me from the crew on the conflicting show. Which meant I was now free to audition for Angels, EXCEPT that as his assistant, I have to be available from 4-7 on Monday Wednesday Friday, and I had a yoga class from 4:00 - 5:25. Which I need as a movement credit in order to graduate on time with the other BFAs. So I was like...crap...all the other sections are full. But then I went back to my room that night and the section that I needed to get into had ONE spot that had opened up. So I snagged it. And now I have a 9:35 yoga class on Tuesday / Thursday that gets me all energized for my day. How lovely. So everything worked out perfectly. Now it would just serve me right not to get called back even...but regardless, I'm glad I got myself the opportunity.


I had my first city class. THAT'S gonna suck. The professor is this horrible name-dropper. And the thing is...he actually HAS worked with all these people, he's just a dickwad about it. Which makes me surly. Which he noticed. He was trying to charm me/us by telling us we were an attractive class, and saying "his eye was drawn to me. I wonder why that is." Ew. Come on. Probably because I've been glaring at you from the back row. How foul. But whatever, the scrawny BFA boys will protect me.

That's about all that's going on...except I need to get myself back to the gym after being side-lined by an injury for a few days. The sole of my left foot was KILLING me. And I kept running on it for a few days, and I think that made it worse. So I've taken like four or five days off at this point. I think I'm ready to go back tomorrow. So that will be a good routine to get back into. I KNOW. MY LIFE IS SO EXCITING.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, January 29th, 2008

Subject:Imaginary buttons.
Time:12:24 am.
Mood: thoughtful.

I need to smarten up.
That's all.

Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, December 17th, 2007

Subject:To write you a love song...today.
Time:4:06 am.
 Go to Wikipedia home page and click random article. That is your band's name.

Click random article again; that is your album name.

Click random article 15 more times and those are the tracks on your album.

North Carolina Progress Board
Christopher E. Scott

1. Humanistic Buddhism.
2. Frontline (Australian TV Series).
3. The Members.
4. Oak Ridge Observatory.
5. West Hauxwell.
6. St. Augustine Airport.
7. Gregory S. Aldrete.
8. 1999 Australian Drivers' Championship.
9. Nowa Jerozolima.
10. Boca do Inferno.
11. List of Barbadian organisations.
12. Kingston City FC.
13. Jim Pollard.
14. James Ernest Newland.
15. Felinae.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, December 11th, 2007

Subject:Savages, savages.
Time:12:28 am.
Mood: discontent.
So, because this is my life, and nothing good can ever last, I got the part of THE PLAYER QUEEN in Hamlet.
Now excuse me while I take a moment to get into a good mood about this.

Bedtime. Have to get up early for a 7:00 am stage combat test. Gross.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, December 4th, 2007

Subject:Oh yes.
Time:10:43 pm.
Mood: cranky.
Your Celebrity Boob Twin:

Dita Von Teese
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, December 2nd, 2007

Time:1:35 pm.
Mood: excited.
I forgot that snow existed.
It's nice.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, November 19th, 2007

Subject:Yeah Hofstra.
Time:3:41 pm.
Mood: proud.
A Statement from Hofstra University President Stuart Rabinowitz

Today, Monday, November 19, at 3 p.m., the Commission on Presidential Debates, a nonprofit, nonpartisan corporation that has sponsored and produced every presidential and vice-presidential debate since 1988, announced that Hofstra University would be the host of the third and final presidential debate of the 2008 campaign season on October 15, 2008.

We are extremely pleased and proud that the Commission has chosen Hofstra University for one of America's most important political events. The presidential debates are pivotal events that can shape the course of the election, and our students and community will be able to witness, first-hand, the democratic process.

We will shortly announce a series of academic programs to be held throughout the months leading up to the debate that will provide students and the community with insights into the process and workings of the national election.

With Hofstra's unique academic strengths, and particularly our Peter S. Kalikow Center for the Study of the American Presidency and our vibrant academic programs in political science, journalism and mass media, and law, we are uniquely poised to take advantage of the special opportunities a presidential debate offers. We plan to maximize every opportunity to involve students, faculty and the community in this historic event.

For more information, visit the press release at www.hofstra.edu 

This is awesome...
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, November 8th, 2007

Subject:Carolina Custard.
Time:11:47 pm.
Mood: busy.

 I support the writer's strike.
Give the people what they earn.

Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, July 4th, 2007

Subject:Give me a rolling stone.
Time:10:33 pm.
Mood: exanimate.
Will someone explain to me why PostSecret hasn't been updated since last Sunday?
I feel like gravity just failed or something. Very off-putting.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

LiveJournal for Miss Butterjam.

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